Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
