I wish my penis had an off switch
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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