She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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