oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
