i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
