the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Drake has all the answers
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize