i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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