I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
