i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
