Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
