She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
