sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
