I'm going to jail i love you
Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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