I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
