1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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