What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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