Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
