is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
