I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
