some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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