Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
