I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
