called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
