today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
