you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
