Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
we should paint friendship bongs
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