She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize