He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
