Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
