oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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