what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
