What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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