direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
