just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
