yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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