I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize