Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
