i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
