I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
