I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize