She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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