she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I believe in your delicious
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
