wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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