apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
