but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
