i jhust puked up my retainher.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
