i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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