Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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