You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
