he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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