you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
