he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
