Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
