If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
