WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
