i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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