you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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