My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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