If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
