Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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