THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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